Dark Humor Jokes Of 2021 For Those Who Want Silly Laugh
Innocent jokes are superb & dandy – however everyone knows that dark humor jokes are our true favourite. Sure, cracking jokes about dying, despair, tragedy, & murder could also be heartless & merciless. But boy do they provide some candy laughs. It’s time to simply accept it – dark jokes is evil in the best way.
Ready to walk by way of the gates of hell with us? These dark Humor memes are on fire – in different words, they’re luring you into hell’s pit of fireside. If that’s too hyperbolic for you – they’re at least certain to place a devilish smile in your face.
Funny Dark Humor Jokes Ever
1. “Siri, why am I still single?!” Siri activates front camera.
2. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive in all places.
3. What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say? T-Rex, I’m coming for my hug!
4. What does my dad have in widespread with Nemo? They each can’t be found.
5. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I used to be sick.
6. It’s necessary to have a great vocabulary. If I had recognized the distinction between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my good mates would still be alive.
7. My husband is mad that I’ve no sense of route. So I packed up my stuff and right.
8. What’s the very last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph? Its butt.
9. You know you’re not appreciated while you get handed the camera every time they make a bunch photograph.
10. My mother and father raised me as an only baby, which actually pissed off my brother.
11. I’ve a stepladder as a result of my real ladder left when I was only a kid.
12. The most corrupt CEOs are these of the pretzel companies. They’re all the time so twisted.
13. You’re not fully useless. You can all the time function a bad example.
14. I threw a boomerang a couple of years in the past. I now live in constant fear.
15. What’s a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet? None. Historians have advised most pirates would have been illiterate.
16. Why did the mailman die? Because everyone dies.
17. What’s the difference between a hipster and a hockey participant?
A hockey participant showers.
18. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
19. “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?” “To the morgue.” “What? But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet.”
20. When ordering meals at a restaurant, I requested the waiter how they prepare their rooster. “Nothing special,” he defined. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
The Best Dark Humor Jokes
21. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste humorous.
22. What do you name a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
23. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
24. “Just say NO to drugs!” Well, If I’m speaking to my medicine, I in all probability already said yes.
25. My boss stated to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
26. My girlfriend’s dog died, so I attempted to cheer her up by getting her an an identical one. It just made her extra upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
27. Why are buddies quite a bit like snow? If you pee on them they disappear.
28. My wife and I’ve reached the difficult choice that we don’t want children. If anyone does, please just send me your contact details and we will drop them off tomorrow.
29. My grief counselor died just the other day. He was so good although, I didn’t care.
30. My aged family members appreciated to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They quickly stopped although, once I began doing the same to them at funerals.
31. The cemetery is overcrowded and people hold dying to get in.
32. What rhymes with “boo” and stinks? You.
33. “I have good and bad news,” the physician said to his patient. “Give me the good news first,” the patient said. “Your test results are back,” the physician said, “and you have only two days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
34. My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I known as him a hypocrite and unplugged his life assist.
35. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they don’t have any body to go with.
36. My favourite movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I really like a protagonist with a twisted again story.
37. I hope Death is a woman. That method it’s going to by no means take a look at me twice.
38. I visited my friend at his new home. He advised me to make myself at house. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
39. My boss advised me to have a superb day. So I went house.
40. Why did the old man fall within the well? Because he couldn’t see that properly.
Dark Humor Jokes One Liners
41. Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and damage my knee. I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s
42. What did Kermit the frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Nothing.
43. I used to be playing chess with my buddy and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess.
44. Why do vampires appear sick? They’re all the time coffin.
45. The different day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick however I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t speaking to me.
46. When we have been kids, we was afraid of the dark. But after we grew up, the electrical energy bill is what made us afraid of the light.
47. If at first you don’t succeed… Then skydiving positively isn’t for you. (credit score: Steven Wright)
48. I’ll always remember my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
49. It turns out a major new study just lately discovered that people eat extra bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t keep in mind the last time I ate a monkey.
50. What do you do if you’re ever attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler.
51. I used to be shocked after I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
52. “I work with animals,” the man says to his date. “That’s so sweet,” she replies. “I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says.
53. What’s yellow and mayswim? A dead goldfish.
54. What’s the difference between jelly and jam? You can’t jelly a clown into the tiny car.
55. What did the husband say when he was caught masturbating to an optical illusion? “Hon, it’s not what it looks like!”
56. I just learn that somebody in London will get stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor man.
57. What’s red and dirtyin your teeth? A brick.
58. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he requested them who the very best composer was, all of them replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
59. Give a guy a match, and he’ll be warm for a couple of hours. Set a guy on fire, and he will probably be heat for the rest of his life.
60. My wife and I’ve reached the tough determination that we don’t want children. If anyone does, please just send me your contact details and we will drop them off tomorrow.
Dark Humor Jokes Tik Tok
61. Even people who are good for nothing have the capability to carry a smile to your face. For instance, while you push them down the stairs.
62. Never break somebody’s coronary heart, they solely have one. Break their bones as a substitute, they’ve 206 of them.
63. Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face off within the nook.
64. Today was a horrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!
65. It’s important to have a superb vocabulary. If I had recognized the difference between the phrases ‘antidote’ and ‘anecdote,’ one of my good mates would still be alive.
66. What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head because it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph? Its butt.
67. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at the least it does if you throw it hard enough.
68. Imagine if you walked right into a bar and there was a long line of individuals ready to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.
69. I’ve a fish that may breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
70. Today I made a decision to go go to my childhood house. I requested the residents if I may come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, however they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
71. I’ve a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you’ll never get it.
72. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where house is.
73. I began crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a superb dog.
74. My aged relatives appreciated to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They quickly stopped though, once I began doing the same to them at funerals.
75. I used to be digging in our garden when I found a chest filled with gold cash. I used to be about to run straight house to inform my wife about it, however then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
76. My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I known as him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
77. Two hunters are within the woods when certainly one of them collapses. His hunting buddy instantly calls 911. “My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the cellphone. “What should I do?” “Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. 88. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s silence, and then a gunshot. The man will get back on the cellphone and says, “OK, now what?”
78. My son, who’s into astronomy, requested me how stars die. “Usually an overdose, son,” I told him
79. What’s the difference between me and cancer? My dad did not beat cancer.
80. My friend stated that if he went off a cliff, it might be on his own accord. It’s a great thing he drives a Civic.
Real Dark Humor Jokes ever
81. “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?” the affected person requested. “To the morgue,” the doctor replied. “What?” The patient panicked. “But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet,” the doctor said.
82. If you donate one kidney, everyone loves you, and also you’re a complete hero. But donate 5 and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh!
83. Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast an infection.
84. “Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!”
85. “I have good and bad news,” the physician said to his patient. “Give me the good news first,” the patient said. “Your test results are back,” the physician said, “and you have only two days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the 100. patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
86. I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you are “being a respectful friend.” Do it at house and also you’re “destroying evidence.”
87. My favourite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I really like a protagonist with a twisted again story.
88. A man walks with a younger boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
89. My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I do not even care.
90. I’d wish to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
91. Did you hear about the man who received his left side chopped off? He’s all right now!
92. When does a joke change into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes again.
Different Between Dark Humor Jokes
- What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
- What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
- The amateur thief says, “Give me all your money!” The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
- What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
- whats the difference between Chris Brown and Santa. Santa stops at 3 hoes.
- What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies? I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
- What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
- What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
- A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
- What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
- whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest? nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
- What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.
- Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
- What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans.
- What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
- 3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
- what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest? a least one does something when it is triggered.
- What is the difference between butter and a blonde? – Butter is difficult to spread.
- What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
- whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb.
- What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…ads
Funny Dark Humor Quotes For Twisted Laugh
- “I tell you, little man, life’s fall guys, beaten, fleeced to the bone, sweated from time immemorial, I warn you, that when the princes of this world start loving you, it means they’re going to grind you up into battle sausage…”
- “When I arrived the News was three years old and Ed Lotterman was on the verge of a breakdown.
- To hear him talk you would think he’d been sitting at the very cross-corners of the earth, seeing himself as a combination of God, Pulitzer and the Salvation Army.
- He often swore that if all the people who had worked for the paper in those years could appear at one time before the throne of The Almighty–if they all stood there and recited their histories and their quirks and their crimes and their deviations–there was no doubt in his mind that God himself would fall down in a swoon and tear his hair.”
- “It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently.
- I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.”
- “Dennis, please. I don’t know what-“
- “Shut the fuck up, and stop playing me for an idiot. And secondly, and more importantly, I’ve unearthed some disturbing information about you which I want to discuss in more detail before I fill you with holes.”
- “There are fears that Britain could be facing a double-dip recession, or worse still, a double-dip with misery sprinkles and fuck-where’s-my-job-sauce.”
- “But I didn’t want to be anyone’s green card ticket, meal ticket, cook, washing lady, housemaid, personal masseuse, baby machine, regularly-scheduled-hole in the mattress. Only to end up dead, discarded, buried in a ditch somewhere, dumped into the big, blue sea, all used up.
- Boys should just stay home and fuck their mothers.”
- “Where d’you get the knife?” He wished he had one.
- “He gave it to me.” There was a crumpled shape in the shadows by the wall, the matting all around soaked with dark blood. “This way.”
- “A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.”
- “Oh, uh-uh,” Shaundelle said. “I’m not gonna be no place where no ghost is gonna be knockin’ nobody upside the head. I’m outta here. I’m not going to take any chances that some ghost is gonna mess up this pretty face.”
- “Nonie chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. She’d told Fezzo so much already yet there wasn’t a speck of incredulity in his eyes. His expression was serious, and she had his full attention. “I’m not quite sure about what to do with Helen, the ghost that followed me home.”
- “What’s he saying?” Buggy asked, her voice shaky.
- “That there’s something up in the attic that we should be careful of because it could be dangerous.
- “Oh, uh-uh, I’m not going up there,” Buggy said, You can send Shaundelle up there, but I’m keeping my little white ass down here.”
- “The rest of us can find happiness in misery.”
- “If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged”
These Were Some funny mouth cracking dark humor jokes hope you guys loved it thanks for visiting if you wanna add some more dark jokes on our site you can comment down with your jokes we will publish it on our next blog post thank you keep visiting www.darkhumorjokes.com